Change

Change is inevitable and whether it be big or small we still experience the same behaviours and emotions. You have arrived at the office this morning and you have been forced to sit at a new desk.  This weekend you have moved house, and it is one of those big life events.

Loss - The first emotion you feel when any change happens is that sense of loss.  With the desk change you feel a little discombobulated and the same with the house move.  Obviously one of these maybe slightly more intense than the other, but that sense of something before is very much there.

Denial - When loss occurs we often pretend that it has not happened, so we deny or overly justify in our minds that we are not feeling any unease.  "I don't mind being by the window and not near my team" or "I don't mind my commute is much longer from the new house".

Frustration - When that initial denial starts to fade and we realise not sitting near our team is quite tedious and not good for collaborative work our frustrations rise.  The commute to work on the first day is so frustrating, the bus was late which meant you missed the train.

Low point - The need to process the change and acknowledge that it is not working is the low point.  For any situation whether it be big or small you do have to sit with the discomfort and understand what is going on.  Acknowledge that the change is not working for you and then galvanise yourself into action.

Experimentation - Try different actions and ask others for support.  The desk might be just that day and make sure you never sit there again, or find a member of your team to partner up with so you are not totally isolated.  The commute could be tinkered with, drive your car to the station, see if you can get a lift or explore other bus routes.

Decisions - After experimenting with several options you can make some decisions.  This mode of thinking is moving you away from that initial uncertainty, that you had at the beginning of the change.

Integration - Feeling positive about change, is about finding the right options that work for you and putting you back in control of taking action and making decisions.  You decide to not sit at that desk again, there are better alternative desks.  The commute work is much easier if you drive and park near the station and you have managed to find a road with free parking.

These headings are from the work of Elisabeth Kugler-Ross around the grief curve which was then adapted for organisations to be the Change Curve.

Understanding that change is the same however big or small means that you can reflect on your emotions and behaviour and know that they are completely normal.  Accepting that change is inevitable and working through the stages is empowering.

Please do get in touch for a one to one coaching session bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk