Difficult Conversations
Why do they matter?
If you never had those difficult conversations in work what would happen? You may see a loss in productivity, creativity stifled, barriers between individuals, trust evaporating, collaboration stalled, poor communication, and ultimately people may leave.
Therefore it cannot be ignored, but how do you know where to start?
An open invitation to chat is a good gateway. Going into the chat with no preconceived idea of where the conversation will go. Asking nice open questions and just listening, coming from a place of curiosity.
Feedback frameworks can help if the open chat is not delivering on where you need to go. Situation/Behaviour/Impact or the SBI model is very simple and effective. Look to talk about the behaviour you can see in a certain situation and then ask the Team member to evaluate. Identifying the behaviour you want to change yourself is far more likely to happen than to be told the behaviour to change.
In preparation of the conversation use the bullet points below:-
- Map out your own experience of what happened
- Self monitor - is it valid to have the conversation, or were you just having a bad day
- Put yourself in the other person's shoes
- Manage your own expectations - what do you hope to gain from the conversation?
- When is best to have the conversation? eg not at the end of the day
When you are in the conversation remember these very valid points:-
- Clarify the situation or topic early
- Share your own experiences with "I"
- Ask lots of clarifying questions
- Create a future focused solution that is right for both of you
Working with a Coach can help enormously, practising these conversations before you have to have them,
