Emotional Intelligence...

It was in 1990 that John Mayer and Peter Salovey first explored and defined Emotional Intelligence ("EI"). They explained EI as “the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and use this information to guide one's thinking and actions”. Daniel Coleman a psychologist wrote the book Emotional Intelligence in 1995 making the studies accessible to all and also explaining its place in business and Leadership.

There are five key elements:-

1. Self Awareness
2. Self Management
3. Social Awareness
4. Relationship Management
5. Self Motivation

Self Awareness - is knowing how to bring out the best in yourself,  which ultimately helps you bring out the best in others. Being able to recognise "What shadow you cast?" the memory you leave in people's minds. 

Self Management - is having a thermostat to control your emotions, managing your hot buttons and being at a consistent temperature.  Being able to regulate and recognise your emotions, so knowing when to hit the pause if you need to adjust. 

Social Awareness - is your ability to read the signals of others.  Being able to empathetically listen will enable you to calibrate the whole person, detect any leakage in their body language.  Knowing the right and wrong time to speak or approach.

Relationship Management - not afraid to have those tough conversations, being able to coach, influence, mentor and resolve conflict.

Self Motivation - knowing what gets you out of bed in the morning.  Being able to have your own sense of purpose with a long term motivation not just a focus on the short term.

Working with a coach is an excellent way to develop your EI, as you will talk about your current performance in work and where you are in life.  This safe place gives you time to reflect and reset.

Top tips to develop your EI

• Journalling - Writing down your emotions and exploring what they mean to you
• Feedback - seeking feedback on  the impact you have
• Empathetic Listening - listening for what people are not saying
• Paying attention - listening to your mind and body together, knowing when to pause to regulate
• Read the signals - knowing when to speak and when not to speak