Navigating your own Mental Health…

This week with Mental Health in the spotlight we can learn from others how to spot signs within ourselves when we are perhaps “not OK”.

Last year my own mental and physical health took a battering, and the signs were there, but you look at external factors rather than determine your internal indicators. Reflecting on last year I can see that I focused much more on the physical signs, which were loss of weight and lack of sleep and some medical problems.

The internal triggers were my sense of overwhelm in my head the number of scenarios I played out, over and over again. These films or plays all with different endings always happened at night and led to lack of sleep. I spent a lot of energy on how to improve my sleep, whilst in reality I needed to think about the thinking. To understand the connection between feelings, thinking and behaviour as they are separate modes but they must have a good relationship with each other. When you are not thinking straight you feel awful and don’t manage the behaviour well. Drinking red wine in the hope you will sleep better is like applying a band aid to the wrong area.

My sense of overwhelm I have always shared with my family but now I am so much better at articulating it and knowing how I can manage it. In the past I used to describe it as “ants in my head”. My children would laugh and if I seemed a bit sad or under pressure they would say “Mummy have you got ants”.

Last year it was not just an ant colony it was several all at the same time. I often use the word “process” especially when working with coaching clients, take your time to process your thinking. When we have lots of situations in life that we have never experienced before we find it hard to prioritise which to process, so we try and process it all together.

Every mental health story is different, but I did several things to move myself out of my overwhelm, and it is still very much work in progress.

Last year I read “Atlas of the Heart” by Brené Brown it could not have come along at a more timely moment. The book explains that language is the portal to meaning, so the book covers 87 emotions and experiences. It was my friend in a dark place to label and understand what was going on.

Since last year I am very aware of the feeling of being “safe”, this is something I have determined myself. Being away from people who really care for me for a sustained period does not help my mental health. Situations where there is contrived joy will make me struggle, I know this maybe a temporary phase, but I feel unsafe with false hilarity. Safe also means doing menial tasks that don’t use my mental capacity, so cleaning or gardening I find really help. Walking everyday has been invaluable for my mental and physical health.

We are all unique, but sharing our stories and talking about Mental Health especially in a week where it is profiled will be a help to so many people who are suffering alone.