The interest behind the position…

nuggetsoflearning • October 5, 2014

What is the best way for people to resolve their differences?

Negotiating seems the first approach, which often conjures up in our minds the two opposing parties sitting across a table fighting for what they think is fair.

If you went into any negotiation seeking a wise agreement however not holding a position you may be surprised at the outcome.  Holding a position can be personal and often individuals then attach their ego to the cause that they are passionate about.  Always best to separate the people from the problem .  Focus on interests behind positions.

In a library two visitors want different things – one wants the window open the other wants it kept shut.

No agreement is reached as they both hold their positions.

Enter the librarian who asks of both individuals “Why?”

One wants fresh air and the other does not want to sit in a draft.

The librarian opens a window further down as she has understood the interest behind the position and therefore she reconciled their interests not their positions.

Put yourself in the other persons shoes and above all look for the interest behind the position.

For a 90 minutes workshop on Negotiating for Success please contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

By bev March 9, 2026
Hard Conversations
By bev March 3, 2026
Processes & systems lead to results
By bev March 3, 2026
Big thinking, Direction, Identity and Growth
By bev February 26, 2026
Strong ground is the ability to stay emotionally steady, honest, and courageous—even when things feel uncertain or uncomfortable...
By bev February 16, 2026
Coaching and AI—a partnership you didn’t know you needed.
By bev February 11, 2026
How to stop procrastinating?
By bev February 3, 2026
Practical tips:-
By bev January 26, 2026
No. 1 The Opening Ceremony & The Closing Ceremony
By bev January 15, 2026
"Ask not Tell"
By bev January 5, 2026
Reset, refocus & restart
By bev December 4, 2025
Getting the transition right...
By bev November 24, 2025
"Leadership is plumbing and poetry" James March
More Posts